For When You Are Sixteen …

To my beautiful daughters:  the world can be your stage – it can also be your biggest critic.  Trust Mommy when I say, some of these lessons I’ve learned the hard way.  I know that shielding you from pain is not in your best interest but life is precious and meant to be fun and explored and lived.  As you grow into beautiful, productive women who contribute to the world, I want you to remember a few things.  And I want you to know them when you are sixteen – so that maybe, my words will permeate your thoughts and heart and soul and as you grow and explore and learn, you will remember that Mama told you:

1. Boyfriends do not get husband privileges.
2. Just because he smells good doesn’t mean you can lose all your senses.
3. Be cautious.
4. Be gentle.
5. Be honest.
6. Be authentic.
7. Sometimes, just. be. still.
8. Pray.  Daily.  For everyone.
9. Be smart.  The world respects smart women.
10. Just because you are smart doesn’t mean that you have to lose your femininity.  The two are not mutually exclusive.
11. Throw caution to the wind.
12. Allow your heart to be broken.
13. Break someone else’s heart.  But not too many times.
14. Dance.
15. Be kind.
16. Be fair.
17. Lose your senses about a boy.
18. Love hard.
19. Love strong.
20. Love fierce.
21. Love yourself.
22. Read the classics.
23. Read a trashy romantic novel every once and while.
24. Daydream about those trashy romance novel scenes.
25. Realize that books and movies are made up.  Real life isn’t like that.
26. Understand that if you wait long enough for the right person, real life is way better than those romantic novels and movies.
27. Learn to cook.  More than just sandwiches and frozen waffles.
28. Learn to change a tire.
29. Pay for the date.
30. Date a man that won’t let you pay.
31. Call your Dad.  He loves you.
32. Trust your sister.  She’s one of the few you can trust.
33. Learn to write thank you notes.  And do it.
34. Call your grandparents.
35. Laugh.  Laugh a lot.
36. Find a friend who isn’t the coolest but who is super cool to you.
37. Do your own laundry.
38. Save your money.
39. Eat lunch (or dinner) in a restaraunt by yourself.  At least once a quarter.
40. Read everything.
41. Stay up on the news and politics.
42. Don’t let friends borrow money & expect to be repaid.
43. Learn to drive a stick shift.
44. Take an art class.
45. Get too much sun.
46. Drink too much beer (when you are of age).
47. Journal.  And journal.  And journal.
48. Take a picture of yourself on every birthday.
49. Don’t tell everyone your secrets.
50. Eat healthy and establish healthy habits.
51. Learn to love running.   When you are 35, it will be the only exercise that really works.
52. Eat the damn cupcake.
53. Celebrate everything life has to offer.
54. Be careful about over indulging.
55. Know about Pop Culture.
56. Don’t only know about Pop Culture.
57. Study history.
58. Create. Create. Create.
59. There is a difference between real friends and your girls.  Know that difference.
60. Your value is not determined by your looks.
61. Your value is not determined by your profession.
62. Your value is not determined by your net worth.
63. Your value is not determined by your possessions.
64. Your value is not determined by your friend group.
65. Your value is determined by your character.
66. Pay for someone else’s dinner.  Annoynmously.
67. Indulge.
68. Order appetizers.  When you have the money.
69. Be resourceful.
70. And cheap.
71. Drink coffee.
72. Have an opinion.
73. Be learned on the things you have an opinion about.
74. Don’t settle.  In anything.  For anyone.
75. Marry a man that cooks.
76. Don’t smoke.
77. At least once a month, spend the entire weekend in your pajamas watching crappy TV.
78. Hike.
79. Drive around with the windows (or top) down singing at the top of your lungs.
80. Have a song.  Or five.
81. Have a playlist of go to songs – they won’t fail you.
82. Get the waffle cone.
83. Vacation with your friends.
84. Travel.
85. Be a life-long learner and explore the world every chance you get.
86. Don’t be afraid to fail.  You will.  I promise.
87. Care too deeply about something.
88. Care too deeply about someone.
89. Find yourself.
90. Wash your hands.
91. Wash your sheets.
92. Clean up your messes.
93. Make big messes.
94. Read the poetry of Maya Angelou and Robert Frost and Walt Whitman.  For fun.
95. Write stories.
96. Never, ever doubt that –
97. You are kind.
98. You are smart.
99. You are important.

~all my love … Mom